8 Ballers

Holidays, work and fair weather golfers decimated the 8 ballers this morning resulting in a season worst turnout of 5 for todays Stableford (note spelling !) comp off the Whites, and the 2nd 5/6 day member Major of the year, the Centenary Trophy.

Rain greeted the hardcore golfers, who having noticed a distinct lack of anyone else anywhere in the vicinity of the club, decided to place as a 5 ball rather than split up. As ever John was last to arrive and then proceeded to spend 15 minutes talking to Mike outside the pro-shop while the other 4 seeked shelter under their umbrellas or the nearest tree. Considering it was the 2nd major of the year the practice was somewhat muted by the light rain falling.

All was not plain sailing off the first. Fordy teed up a brand new Callaway Blue and Red football Chromesoft ball and within a second it was lost in the bushes 45 degrees left of the first tee. His reload and the 3 other balls were scattered in the fairway meaning only one thing. Mikes shot down the left last week was a fluke and normal service resumed as he managed to curve one out to the right with a hybrid off the tee, the Driver having been consigned to the bag after a particularly poorly behaved round at Conwy on Monday.

No real dramas on the first apart from Tim finding a fairway bunker and then managing to conjure a 7 for 0. Paul missing a tiddler to start with a bogey rather than a par, and Mike playing a truly woeful wedge from 85 yards and finding the left trap with absolute precision.

Tim managed to blob the 2nd too for an impressive start. The only other highlight being the first rules discussion of the day between John, Paul and Mike regarding dropping options for Paul from the GUR where the old bunker used to be.

Steve produced some magnificent course management on the 3rd, a well judged layup before the lake meant a perfect 23 wood yardage to the pin. His 2nd was a great shot which just rolled off the back. Mike was the only one to hit the green thus taking the nearest the pin, but failing to convert for a 2.

The 4th brought a near OOB from Tim, in fact he had given up on it until Mike told him that unfortunately it was still in play and he’d have to go back to his bag for some clubs with which to register another blob (3 in 4 holes must be a record of some kind).

5 was uneventful and in truth 6 would have been so too except Mike decided to chunk his 2nd shot down towards the path in order to test out Chris’s corner, To be fair its not a bad place to chip onto the green from and a par was narrowly missed but a 5 not bad considering the 2nd shot. I can certainly see why Chris knocks it down there every week.

Paul had a lucky escape on 7 when his tee shot clattered the trees on the corner and managed to drop the right side of the OOB ditch.

Standing on the 8th tee Fordy’s drives had been excellent, every one down the fairway with the majority having some great hang time. This record disappeared straight away as the tee shot curled away to the right in the direction of the trees. With everyone on the green Paul proceeded to knock in a 30 footer for the first birdie of the day, a great putt, well done. Mike, sensing that this could be an expensive round, followed him in to also register a birdie.

John had the embarrassing situation of having to play a provisional off the 9th having found the trees with his tee shot. This isn’t embarrassing at all but he was well chuffed when the only spare ball available on the tee was Mike’s spare red footy Callaway. To be fair John knocked a great provisional straight down the middle only for it deemed to be a waste of time as his first ball was easily found in the trees.

Totting up the scores after 9 found Paul and Mike on 18, Fordy playing some very consistent golf, minus the irons in the bag, to score 17, John 14 having scored 13 after 6 holes, with Tim on 12 having had a 7,7,3,7 start. Tim was heard to say that the 2nd half must be better than the first. More of that later !

The ditch on the 10th swallowed up the 2nd shots of Tim and Mike, but both dropped and got up and down for 5s.

Surprisingly the half way house was open and the usual excellent breakfast barms were consumed, but only after we’d waited 20 minutes for Tim’s bacon to be ‘crisped’ up a bit, looked cremated to me !

Special mention must be made of John’s sausage, bacon and egg barm which could easily have fed the 5,000. He’d barely started it when he and Mike looked round to find the other 3 members of the group already putting out on the green. Paul being the only one to find the green and thus taking the spoils, albeit again it didn’t lead to a birdie.

The 12th potentially proved to be the turning point for Paul’s round. Some unusually inconsistent golf on the hole had led to him being only on the front in 4, faced with a 40 footer to the pin well back on the middle portion of the green. John was loitering near the hole when the putt was struck and as it steamed towards the hole John’s instinct kicked in and he pulled the flag from the hole. Paul’s ball ran straight across the hole and passed by about 12 feet. There is no doubt it would have struck the pin but we will never know whether it would have dropped in or not. John apologised profusely and Paul kept his cool and duly rolled in the putt for an excellent 6.

An excellent 4 from John on 13 meant that at least someone played the hole properly. Mike couldn’t see the green from his tee shot so played safe towards the winter green, chipped over the trees for the 5. Steve’s 2nd shot clipped the trees on the corner and disappeared into the hedge and Paul’s second hit the tree and dropped into the brook, prompting a 2nd rules discussion of the day between John, Mike and Paul. Eventually we agreed that the point at which the ball entered the hazard was from the green side of the brook, via the tree, so Paul dropped on that side and converted for a 5 I believe. By the time we decided this Fordy and Tim had completed the hole and were taking a well earned breather on the bench. As we approached Tim declared that he wasn’t returning his card, the 2nd half obviously not looking better than the first as predicted on the 10th tee.

5 woeful tee shots on 14 meant a carry over. 15 produced nothing of note. John nicked the longest drive on 16 from Fordy as his ball faded towards the edge of the fairway but stayed on. Paul again holed a clutch putt down the green for a 5, great play.

The 17th produced some magical golf. Paul and John dragged their tee shots left, Steve pushed his into the bunkers on the right, Tim produced the shot of the day by finding the OOB by some distance, and Mike hit his pin high but a good 2 inches off the green, so the rollover became a double rollover and a nearest the pin in 2 on 18.

John’s drive was the longest and found the middle of the fairway so the obligatory Berry rule change was rolled out with an attempt to make it longest drive rather than nearest the pin in 2, much to the amusement of the other 4. As it was it didn’t matter as his 2nd ended a bit closer than Paul’s excellent effort.

Paul and John ended up parring 18 which for Paul meant a comp winning 34 points.

Finally tally was as follows :

Paul 34
Mike & Steve 33 – to be separated by HowDidIDo for OOM points
John – 30
Tim – NR. Berry rule change required here to make sure that 8 ballers always submit their card whatever the contents.

As a punishment for the NR Mike presented Tim with the donkey trophy meaning he is the first 8 baller to have held both the Bandit and Donkey trophies at some point this season, Well done Tim.

John finally gave up the bandit trophy he won 2 weeks ago but couldn’t be arsed to bring last week, so its rightful owner Mike presented the Bandit trophy to Paul this week for an excellent 34 points.

It was an excellent game and if there is a lesson to be learned from it then it has to be to ignore the weather forecast because they haven’t a clue and all get out and play some golf, its only rain after all.

Hopefully Paul’s 34 will win him the centenary trophy but I’m guessing it will be at least 3 or 4 short as the afternoon weather was much better than the morning.

Another half decent morning greeted the 8 ballers today.

It doesn’t matter how early I get to the club these days I’m invariably one of the last 3 to arrive, the other 2 always being John and Chris. Today was no exception and I arrived at the first tee to find all 3 practice nets occupied, with some intense practice going on and the game faces on. Its obviously not because of the urge for handicap reductions as there wasn’t one today due to the Ladies Open being played later in the day, its an attempt to limit the financial losses that can occur if you don’t snag any of the comps on offer.

Andy provided the official draw hat today and Mike picked the first 3 out of the hat. I don’t know how Tim does it but he always seems to be in the 1st group, John suggesting that he’s trying the warm ball technique in order to get selected first. He was paired with Andy and Buggy Steve. Group 2 was Paul, Buggy Stan and Benny, leaving the final group to be Mike, John, Chris and Fordy. This was quite fortunate as it allowed John to have an extended warm up to try and get rid of a few early morning aches and pains (the back today if I remember correctly). It was later to become apparent that this injury was actually caused by trying to eat a pie whilst driving to the club.

Tim set the trend off the first tee by unusually sliding one down the left side of the fairway, and then virtually everyone else proceeded to follow his lead, even Mike, who for the first time this season failed to slice one way off the right side of the fairway and found the rough to the left, 235 yards from the centre of the green. He debated with Fordy whether to have his 2nd shot or wait for the green to clear. After much discussion the decision was to have a go and if it looked on line Fordy would shout Fore to warn of an incoming. The strike was a good one, was right on line, but never looked like it was going to get there, but once it bounced it shot forward and Fordy’s shout obviously didn’t reach the group on the green before the ball did, as it rolled straight between them and stopped about 3 feet from the hole.

Mike went over to the 2nd group as they left the tee and he approached the green, in order to apologise for not waiting, and also for the crap shout from Fordy, but Paul had obviously got out of bed the wrong side this morning and was having none of it, either that or he first hadn’t gone quite to plan !

The mischevious sole that John is immediately started thinking of rules changes to get under Tim’s skin, and suggested that if the putt was holed a new prize for Eagles should be added to the tally up post round. With the putt duly holed he was on WhatsApp before we got to the 2nd tee.

Apologies again to Paul, Stan and Terry as I should have waited as you were obviously in range, however the chances of me playing that shot were about 1 in a million on current form.

Fordy managed what was an excellent 7 on the 2nd despite a couple of dodgy lies and tree strikes, which was unusual course management but still got him a point.

We approached the 3rd and couldn’t decide whether the nearest the pin marker was on the green or not. John then said that he thought Terry had got one on the green but the marker didn’t indicate this. A schoolboy error or was the ball that John saw a 2nd shot, we’ll never know, unless Terry confirms on WhatsApp later. Mike was the only one og group 3 to hit the green and hence won the nearest the pin.

A couple of pars and a couple of bogies was just reward for some mediocre play on the 4th but later events would suggest we’d actually played it quite well.

The 5th saw John and Mike way right by the tree on the edge of 16 with some woeful drives but again some good recovery play and a couple of 5’s were posted. The 6th for once saw no brushes with the water albeit John’s drive was so big it easily passed the left hand bunker and disappeared from view, with questions being asked as to whether it reached the water or not. As it happened it didn’t but was hidden by a rise in the fairway that kept the ball out of view until we were almost up to it.

Steve’s good run of drives was halted in dramatic fashion by a huge pull off the 7 tee into the trees on the right with it being so far right that there wasn’t even the faintest chance of a lucky bounce back into the fairway.

The 8th saw John dispatch one over the back of the green and land on the path dangerously close to the water. His nearest point of relief was the bin on the 9th tee and whilst trying to avoid that he brought the sprinkler cover into play. 4 drops later and we were back in action. A lovely chip deserved the par but the putt, like many during the day, just didn’t have the legs to drop.

Fordy and Chris had some tree trouble on 9 but the front 9 ended up with Chris on 14, John and Fordy on 17, and Mike on 19. None of the scores good enough to win the front 9, which went to Terry with an excellent 20.

John superbly found the brook on the 10th on the full with a fairway wood from about 170 yards away and unluckily didn’t get the bounce off the slabs in the bottom.

The groups hopes were raised by the sight of the halfway house being open, with the generator running, but unfortunately this was just to get it warm for the ladies later on. The group moved to the 10th cursing about ladies opens and no sausage butties.

This was still on their minds as they teed off on 11 with no-one getting close to the green. Chris was particularly put off by this as his tee shot careered at less than knee height straight into the stream. A fine chip and another putt that hung on the edge meant he got away with a good 5. A fine tee shot from Terry taking the 11th nearest the pin spoils.

Chris certainly made amends on the next 3 holes as he took advantage of his 2 shots on 12 by getting down in 5 for a 3 pointer, a 5 for 2 on 13 and then a majestic 2 for 4 on 14, by virtue of holing a putt from just off the back of the green, meant his score was racking up quite nicely. His tee shot on 14 had rolled within inches of John’s ball on the green but drifted off leaving John to take the Nearest the Pin.

As we played down 15 we say Paul’s tee shot pass Tim’s earlier effort and set the target for group 3 to beat. Steve and Chris caressed their drives down the middle but didn’t reach the marker. John, fully refreshed by another pie and some excellent salted caramel and milk chocolate cookies then proceeded to launch a missile of a drive which headed straight for the Longest Drive marker. The ball ran and ran til it was out of sight and we couldn’t see if it was the winner or not. Mike hit a nice effort but it was always going to drift off the right edge of the fairway. After what seemed an age we approached the marker to find John’s ball about 8 yards beyond the marker to take the Longest Drive cash.

John’s 3rd to the 16 was watched at close quarters by Fordy and he reported on an almost professional style wedge shot which pitched before the flag, hopped forward and then checked stone dead about 5 foot right of the flag. To sum up the putting on the day the birdie putt was duly missed.

Standing on 17 we couldn’t decide whether the marker was on the green or not. Fordy having left his 23 wood at home decided he had to use an iron for the his tee shot. Between the 16th green and the 17th tee he managed to convince himself that despite all the iron practice he’d done on holiday last week that he wasn’t going to hit the green, and he didn’t disappoint by lasering one into the right greenside bunker. However an exquisite bunker shot out left an 18 inch tap in for an interesting par.

Whilst waiting to putt out we encountered one of the advanced groups of the ladies open who managed to get into the worst position possible by playing down the right side of the fairway on 4 and leaving the hideous chip over the bunker onto the green with the OOB fence behind. 2 balls were in this position. The first was duly dispatched into the greenside bunker, the 2nd straight over the fence into the jungle. With the comp being 2 from 3 stableford the pressure was on the bunker shot. The pressure was however too much and this ball too was dispatched over the fence. Made our efforts look really good.

A fairly uneventful 18th, the highlight being the poppy flag to commemorate the D-Day landings, led to the clubhouse and the after match analysis.

On entering the clubhouse we found we were duly demoted to the back room because of the Ladies Open. Should be on a Thursday in my opinion, or failing that not Wednesday.

Andy took the spoils for the back 9 with 21, with Mike winning the overall with a non-bandit score of 37 points. Luckily John had forgotten the trophy so gets to keep it for another week.

A special presentation was made first to Steve, and then by Steve to Stan. Mike presented the Donkey trophy to Steve for his recent pair of 12s and Steve then quickly presented Stan with the trophy for his truly magical 15 last week. The group then decided that the trophy should be awarded on a weekly basis for the highest score on a hole on the day. If that is tied then it will revert to the player in the original tie who has the next highest score.

A variety of stories about Andy’s game came out in the post round discussions, an 11, a 7 and a 125 yard hole out being a great example of the truly random play that we all knock out each week.

Next week we are on the major trail as it is Stableford off the Whites for the Centenary Trophy. Good luck to all.

Following pages updated

• 29th May Result
• Order of Merit Table
• Handicap Tracker
• Sale GC Midweek Order of Merit

9 of the 8 ballers turned out for the midweek comp in what was undoubtedly the best part of the day as shortly (well 3 hours) after we finished it proceeded to chuck it down for the rest of the day.

Todays draw was undertaken by Paul, and yes John it was strictly supervised by everyone else, you were too busy putting, and no rules were broken and only one draw was required. This threw up the following groups :

Tim, Stan S, Stan D
Paul, Terry and Mike
John, Chris and Andy

A first highlight of the day was Stan’s drive of the first. Somehow he managed to conjure up a low knuckle ball which appeared to be heading straight to the right tree near the ditch but miraculously ducked under the branches and finished straight in the middle of the fairway. I’m still wondering how much practice was required to master that sort of shot.

Unlike Stan’s middle of the fairway effort Mike continued his extremely poor run of form by once again missing the fairway to the right. Today’s splendid effort was a bit closer to the fairway than usual but still managed to end up on the bank to the right of the bunker. The only positive was that Terry’s was further to the right. Paul’s of course was smashed straight down the middle. This really set the tone for the whole round.

The 2nd hole produced some woeful play by the whole 3 ball. Mike right into the trees by the 3rd, Paul taking 4 to get down from 10 yards in front of the green and Terry doing the same from above the right greenside bunker.

We approached the 3rd to see that the first nearest the pin comp using Tim’s excellent new markers, was unused as it sat to the right of the green. Mike just managed to scrape on to the front of the green, hence destroying his prediction that he wouldn’t need to write his name on any of the new markers. Remarkably no-one beat that mark and without needing to say it the 2 was missed by at least 6 feet, and a par was scrambled. This was an improvement on the last comp as Mike had taken to the 8th to register his first par.

The fourth brought the first of a couple of lost balls. Paul’s tee shot veered right into the trees and seemed to drop down in a place where there was no rough. Despite searching an area as big as Wembley it was nowhere in site hence a long walk back to the tee. John quite generously offered to play down after Paul’s 3 off the tee and then we could let them through, which I’m guessing brought a suitably forthright response from Paul. His 2nd tee shot split the fairway, he then knocked his 4th on to the green with some panache. Mike however managed to complete miss the green from the right side of the fairway with the ball never threatening to hit any grass before disappearing over the out of bounds fence. Paul managed to conjure a par with his second ball but only after hitting his first put about 20 foot past and then smashing the return into the hole.

Hole 5 produced a replica of hole 1 with Mike and Terry over on the 16th fairway. The 6th produced a terrible fairway wood from Paul which careered into the water, again some excellent recovery play salvaging a respectable score.

Having teed off on 7 we were treated to a majestic display of club throwing from Stan. His second from near the fairway bunkers flew majestically through the air towards the green but fell directly into the right greenside bunker. The quality of the shot was far surpassed by the quality of the club throw. A highlight of Paul’s round occurred on the 7th. His 3rd to the green was overhit and rolled just off the back but he made amends in great style by putting in from off the green for a par.

Terry hit a great drive on 8, a lovely second over the bunker onto the green and then in nonchalant style tapped in the putt for the groups only birdie of the round. All sounds very easy however thats not the full story. Before his successful birdie putt Terry decided that Paul’s marker was in the way and asked him to move it 1 club head left. After Paul had done this Terry stepped forward and pulled his putt well left of the hole but sufficiently so to take a glancing blow off the marker which knocked it straight back towards the hole and it duly rolled in for a birdie. Top notch course management that.

It wasn’t mentioned in the clubhouse after the round, for reasons that will become apparent later, but Stan must have hit a stunner of the 9th tee as he left his fellow players to wander off down the 6th in the wrong direction. Perhaps this is the new way to play this hole as he clearly took the trees out of play, which found 2 of the second groups balls.

A special mention for Terry about his drive on 10. A nice looking swing, a crack of club on ball, immediately followed by Paul asking where it had gone. He had no idea as for some reason he had decided to stand behind Terry and look down the 10th fairway. Mike on the other hand had a grandstand view. He was diagonally behind Terry and had a great view of the ball cannoning off the club at a 45 degree angle, clearing the willow tree and ending up on the far side of the 16th. Mike hit his tee shot into the first tree with Andy commenting as he walked past that he didn’t fancy his next shot as the ball was only about 18 inches from the trunk with no room to swing a cat or club. Remarkably the group conjured up three 5’s thus taking a respectable 15 shots between them to play the hole.

Sausage butties (excellent as usual) consumed the nearest the pin comp moved onto the 11th. Once again Tim’s efforts had gone in vain as the first group didn’t need to utilise the supplied pen, however the same could be said for all 9 players as the first carry over of the day was invoked.

The 13th brought another few highlights. Mike had yet another ball up against the tree incident and had to hack back into the fairway. Terry played his 3rd across the bridge and managed to hit some stones on it which threw the ball up into the tree only to land back down just short of the green. However the honours go to Paul who for the very 1st time managed a green in regulation on this hole with a lovely second that bounced on the front of the green and rolled up to 20 feet left of the pin. For good measure the feat was captured for posterity and I’m sure will be shared on WhatsApp soon. Well done. His first putt however was woefully short but a confident 2nd putt secured the par.

Tim’s new marker on 14 was also unused until Terry stepped up and caressed one on to the front of the green, a shot good enough to win the rollover from 11.

Terry had a mare on 15 which included a hack from the bridge (shot 5) as we were unsure as to whether you got relief from the bridge. Having now consulted the rule book the answer is yes you do get relief from immovable objects but only if they impede your swing and only if the ball is not in the hazard. For info there is no relief from an immovable object that blocks your line to the green. Despite taking 6 to get to within 50 yards of the green he still managed a superb up and down for an less than double figure 8

The group played the 16th in completely different ways but took a combined 15 shots as 3 pars were made. Mike’s first drive of the day to hit the fairway looked a cert for the longest drive but John summoned up all of the calories from his breakfast bap to surpass the marker by 7 yards to take the cash, a great drive.

On 17 Tim finally managed to utilise one of his newly made markers by just getting his tee shot to stay on the green (about 4 inches on). This mark wasn’t tested by group 2 but was easily beaten by John, who knocked in for a birdie and a few free balls.

Paul desperately tried to ruin his back 9 score by taking 6 on the last, including a first putt that was virtually the full length of the green. Luckily the 6 prevented there being a back 9 winner which saved us all a quid.

Sorry Stan but there has to be a mention of the 17th. Following Steve’s 12 the other week, which finally relieved Stan D of the honour of the worst score on a hole which he’d held for about 2 years, I decided to buy a trophy to commemorate this momentous event and which is to be held by the unfortunate player until it is surpassed by another 8 baller. This new trophy arrived yesterday but as Steve wasn’t playing I thought i’d leave it at home as there was going to be no presentation, however, Stan S had other thoughts and proceeded to take a truly magnificent 15 on the 17th hole, including visits to 2 of the bunkers, a shot from 1 to the other, and 9 in the 2nd bunker before getting out. You have to give credit for persistence as surely the record would not have been broken had this not been a medal comp.

From his scorecard he seemed to make an attempt to increase this record on the 18th but fell miserably short by only registering a meagre 10 to finish. As Tim so kindly pointed out this meant that 31 shots had been played for the last 3 holes.

Scores tallied and debts paid, a very time consuming countback calculation took place between Tim and John, who both shot net 70s, well done chaps, and the conclusion was that John had won the comp by virtue of a better last 6 holes. He was duly presented with the Bandit trophy by Tim, last weeks worthy winner. Only time will tell whether the result is correct as HowDidIDo might see things differently.

Well played all today, thoroughly enjoyable as ever.

• Steve’s 2&1 win over Stan reflected on single KO draw
• Andy replacing Chris in the singles and doubles KO comps
• Comp Fees Paid/Owing Updated

No match report this week I’m afraid but normal business will be resumed next week.

Congratulations to Tim on winning the midweek comp, the first 8 baller win of the year after a couple of 2nd places.

Not only did he win the comp but knocked in a birdie on the 1st and then again on the 14th to claim some balls off Mike. The result of a great round being a well earned 1.2 shot handicap reduction, knocking him down to 13 having just moved up to 15 last week. Well done Tim, good effort.

Further bad news may follow as he has now also taken delivery of a new driver so we could be looking at further wins and reductions from him in weeks to come.

Disappointingly there were 0.1 increases all round for the other playing 8 ballers and no twos.

Special mention for Stan, as I didn’t report his birdie last week, so this week I will, and he managed a pair, one on 8 the other on 11. The 2nd must have gone to his head as 3 blobs followed in the remaining 7 holes.

Congratulations also to Steve B. Stan D had been the holder of the highest score on a hole title for the best part of 2 years following a superb 11, but Steve magnificently surpassed this with a 12 on the 9th 2 weeks ago. He replicated this magnificent feat last week as well with the same score on the same hole. The deserved congratulations are for breaking his 2 competition streak by failing to make a 12 this week.

Last weeks damp and dismal weather was replaced by another scorcher as the troops assembled for the first 5/6 day members major of the year, with Stan defending his trophy from last year.

A record turnout meant that there were 12 players, so 3 fourballs.

Group 1 (John, Mike, Paul and Tim) started with 3 down the fairway drives
but this sequence was once again shattered by a Mike slice down the right. He compounded this with a woeful recovery shot which crossed the fairway and nestled under a tree in an unplayable position. Having dropped out a 7 was entered on the scorecard. Tim had played 3 great shots to reach the front of the 1st but I still can’t quite believe that he walked off with a matching 7. Solid pars from Paul and John showing some initial signs of good golf.

However the fickle hand of fate then dealt some more blows. John’s first
landed on the side of Everest on the edge of the 2nd green. Paul’s second found the path between the GUR and fairway bunker. A slight issue with finding the nearest point of relief probably didn’t help Paul with his 3rd shot which took a savage bounce off the bank and pinged into the hazard and ended half buried in leaves. A drop out and a good up and down meant that this was definitely a good 6.

The 3rd proved to be the low point of the round. John hit his tee shot in
the pond, Mike’s wasn’t good enough to reach the pond, so Paul copied John and slapped his in the pond too. Finally Tim managed to restore some respectability by being just short of the green. A green that no-one hit today.

John had to take an unplayable having hit his tee shot on 4 into the trees
to continue a woeful sequence of golf from the quartet.

The only birdie of the round was claimed by John on the 7th. I hope you
noticed how I missed out 5 and 6. These were only noteable for a Berry swing change which to be fair made a great difference and he played the rest of the round almost to level par. Apparently he’d changed the swing but not the stance !!

Mike finally managed a par on the 8th having added a run of 6 5’s after his
initial 7, truly woeful.

Highlight of the round for all was an excellent breakfast barm at the half
way house. This view was backed up by the 2nd group (Dave, Ron, Chris and Steve F) who appeared to be playing the same woeful golf as us.

Tim hit a screamer on to the 11th for a nearest the pin contender, but which
was duly beaten next shot by Mike. Paul also found the green but John let the side down by running off the back. Mike somehow missed his birdie putt from about 5 feet but remarkably all 4 walked off with 3’s.

No such luck on 14 as no-one was anywhere near the green., something also
achieved by the 2nd group. Declan taking the honours from the last group.

Probably the highlight of Tim’s round was the extremely short walk required to play his 2nd shot on 15, his tee shot having failed to reach the ladies tee. Something I promised I wouldn’t mention in the match report 🙂

Tim and Paul both hit the fairway on 16 with Paul’s going about 3 yards
further than Tim’s, but this wouldn’t last the distance as Declan (?) took the
honours.

No takers on 17, which is woeful, meant an impromptu nearest the pin in 2 to be setup by the first group, with a deflection policy also in play as a marker for nearest the line was also put down as Tim was only about 4 ft from it.

Mike secured the nearest the pin in 2 but only because half of the players
didn’t know the carry over rule if the 17th had no takers.

Tallying up the scores after and the 30 year Sale veteran Declan cleaned up
and departed with about £30 in his pocket. He obviously knew of the stakes on offer as he played nowhere near his handicap except when nearest the pins and longest drives were on offer.

Stan and Paul finished equal with nett 72’s so Stan kindly volunteered that
Paul should be presented with the bandit trophy by Mike. This duly happened with Mike stating that after brief loans to himself and Stan the trophy was now back in its spiritual home, probably for the rest of the season.

However in a late breaker some screenshots of the scoreboard posted by Stan indicated than in actual fact Mike’s speech was correct in that it had returned to its spiritual home however the trophy should have been presented to Stan, the original bandit, rather than his protégé Paul.

Well played chaps, at least its not medal off the whites next week.

Unfortunately the first major of the year eluded the 8 ballers, something
that I guess is likely to be a regular occurrence. At least the 67 in first
place was a sensible score given the excellent conditions, unless of course
there is a late breaking 59 to hit the leaderboard.

Following updated today

• Doubles Knockout Draw
• US PGA Predictions
• Unpaid Fees
• Singles Knockout Results Update

Updates as follows :

• 8 Baller 8th May Result
• 8 Ballers Season Long Order Of Merit
• 8 Ballers Season Handicap Tracker
• Sale GC Midweek Order of Merit Table
  Sale GC Midweek Order of Merit Checker (New)

The long run of Wednesday good weather was broken today with a damp and dreary morning greeting the 8 Ballers for the 2nd qualifying comp of the season. The usual balls in the hat draw produced the first fourball of Stan, Fordy, Steve and Ron, with Mike, John, Tim and Paul away second.

No dramas on the first tee as the lead group got the day underway. John smashed his drive down the left, Mike right as usual, and then Tim strode purposefully to the tee. The driver weights changed from last week, loft optimised too, and with a confident swish his ball sailed straight into the tree to the left with no-one seeing it come down. Tim reloaded and with a slightly less confident swing hit a straight left shot that sailed straight into the trees to the left of his first but much deeper. Tim trudged down the path muttering about early no returns, with his playing partners saying the first ball must have dropped into the stream. Tim’s mood improved dramatically as we reached the bridge as low and behold there was his ball sat proudly in the middle of the fairway. Mike’s 2nd was a carbon copy of last week as his attempted cut round the trees on the right of the fairway produced no bend at all and sailed across onto the 2nd fairway. John having played 2 great shots inexplicably hit his 3rd over the back of the green. A 5 and 3 6’s didn’t really do justice to the awful golf on that first hole.

The 2nd hole was no better. Mike attempted to copy John’s middle of the fairway drive but carved his into the greenside bunker on the 3rd and got a fried egg lie for good measure. John then stuck his 2nd into the bunker front right of the green. Mike chipped out and then hit his 3rd which bounced on the bank but ended in the raised bed around the tree to the right of the green. Some woeful short game from both resulted in a pair of 7s and the majority of the front 9 handicap allowance having already been used by both. It would be wrong not to mention Tim’s tee shot on 2. This was a carbon copy of the first and went straight into the tree to the left of the fairway. No lucky bounce this time but a 2nd tree in regulation.

The 2nd group couldn’t take advantage of the lack of a nearest the pin marker on 3 as all failed to get anywhere near the green. Tim failed to hit a tree and proceeded to make a nice up and down from the front of the green. Well done to Ron for a chip-in for a birdie and some free balls.

Paul produced a delightful 2nd shot from between the 2 fairway bunkers to hit the middle of the green. 2 putts for a good par and a very steady start. Good job that his trolley had been found last week after he abandoned it for a few quick pints, as I doubt the same quality golf would have been played if he’d had to carry. All Lily’s fault apparently !

It had been a couple of holes since Tim had some tree action so he superbly stopped this run by caressing his drive into the tree to left of the 5th fairway. Again he played his members bounce card and the ball ended in the fairway again.

No dramas on 5 and 6 with the highlight being the sight of the halfway house supplies arriving. So on to 7. 3 of the group played the hole as it should be played, fairway, green and then hopefully 2 putts, however Mike once again carved his tee shot right. He had a straight route to the green but played a miserable second that finished pin high but 5 yards right of the green. He must have subconsciously seen Ron’s earlier chip in and produced one much the same to get the first birdie of the round for the later group.

8 produced some varied tee shots, 2 in the fairway, 2 in the trees to the right, but some good scrambling produced a couple of pars.

A tail wind on the 9th tee meant that big drives were a possibility. Cue Tim to try and get some more tree action. The usual left to right ball flight failed to materialise and his tee shot when straight left but luckily went straight through the newly cleared area at the end of the trees without managing to hit any. John’s tee shot had landed in the fairway bunker and albeit with an element of doubt in his mind drilled a rescue club from the bunker which bounced just short of the green but still managed to roll just off the back, which was really harsh from such a great strike out of the bunker,

The scores totted up and Paul’s steady golf had returned a gross 42, which was easily the best nett score too.

John bunkered himself on 10 but was unable to replicate the great shot on 9 whilst Mike’s shot just managed to keep out of the trees on the left (yes you did read that correctly, it was the first drive that hadn’t gone right) but ended up on the bark chips with a cut tree between himself and the ball. What can only be described as a complete hit and hope managed to find the green and highlighting the fickle nature of the game he managed to drain the putt for a truly undeserving birdie. Play was slightly delayed as Fordy had managed to leave his putter on the 10th tee, which Tim picked up, and then we were treated to some Lewis Hamilton type golf buggy driving as Fordy toured the 10th to get his putter back so he could finish off the hole.

Great to have the halfway house open for the Weds comps and both groups feasted on some excellent breakfast barms and hot drinks. Hopefully this excellent facility will remain open every week.

Whilst eating we watched Ron play a carbon copy of Chris’s shot from last week on 11 as his iron bounced before the bunkers, snuck over and landed pretty damn close to the flag, to take the rollover nearest the pin. Well played. Not to be outdone Paul laid up in front of the bunkers and then proceeded to chip in for a birdie and more free balls.

The 12th was only notable for Tim’s trolley performing some acrobatics and depositing all of his kit on the floor when a gust of wind caught his open umbrella.

A birdie on 13 for Mike. Bad luck to Fordy on 14, we saw you come across to see if John had beaten your marker, it was close, but the cigar, birdie and some free balls went to John. Paul continued with some steady golf with no dramas. However a very casual putt for par slid past the hole on 14 and still cursing under his breath he tapped in for a 4.

This seem to pray on his mind as his drive on 15 hit the tree to the left of the fairway near the brook and disappeared completely. Tim tried to do the same but despite his best efforts his ball just missed 2 different trees and ended up on the fairway. Paul compounded his 3 off the tee by smashing his provisional into the tree in front. We all saw the shot, heard the smack on the tree but had no idea where it had gone. Luckily Steve saw it as he played up 16 and Paul had to walk back at least 50 yards to his ball. A couple more shots and his composure was restored as he managed to get up and down from off the green for a 9. Now Stan hasn’t featured in this report so far but it is definitely worth mentioning his superb run of 6’s to start the round, I think it was at least 5 or 6 in succession, but this pales into insignificance compared to the sheer look of joy, and relief, on his face as he happily reported that he was no longer the holder of the highest recorded score from the group. His previous record of 11, which had stood for 2 years, having been superbly surpassed by Steve with a Country Cousin on 9. Well done Steve.

The longest drive was taken by Tim by 5 yards (again no trees were hurt in this win) and he proceeded to make an excellent par on the hole. Mike’s longest drive attempt found the ditch to the left, the only positives being that he found his ball and that it at least hadn’t gone right for once.

Mike found the green on 17 but was way further away than Stan’s excellent effort, which looked a cert for a 2 but no mention was made after so I’m guessing a good par resulted.

And then to 18, Tim’s favourite hole, until today. His drive found the ditch to the right and in a great display of bravado decided to play out of the ditch and back onto the fairway, The idea was good, the shot possible, however the execution was lacking and the ball stayed very much in the ditch. Common sense finally prevailed and a penalty drop was taken. However the 2nd trolley incident of the round then occurred as somehow his trolley, bag and clubs had given up the ghost and appeared to lunge towards the ditch, with the whole outfit only just managing not to fall in. Tim duly rescued the situation with a magnificent 6, but it was left to John to drain a birdie putt down the 18th which if it hadn’t hit the pin would have been off the front. To be fair he did call it before he hit it, which I thought was a brave statement, but one that proved to be spot on.

The final tally in the clubhouse was as follows :

Group 1 – 3 Nearest the pins and 4 birdies
Group 2 – 1 nearest the pin, longest drive and 6 birdies

Meaning that group 1 owed group 2 £1 each.

Not sure of all the final scores but Mike and Paul both finished with a net 70, with Mike taking the bandit trophy on a back 9 countback.

Roll on next week for the first 5/6 day members major of the year. Stan being the defending champion. Let’s keep it in the group if we can.