8 Ballers

The first qualifier of the season brought out a near maximum turnout with 9 of the 8 ballers out early doors. What is normally a pain free process of entry fee paying in the pro shop was anything but this morning. To much merriment, especially from Stan, Fordy managed to achieve a 6 shot handicap reduction without hitting a ball. So much for Mike and Paul’s pick for the season long handicap reduction competition. Not surprisingly Fordy looked shell shocked on the first tee and for the rest of the day.

With cookies and pickles distributed and a very complicated 3 team competition agreed, Mike was very grateful to Tim for pointing out that we aren’t playing on the winter tees any more. Cheers mate.

Teams were as follows :

Team 1 – Mike, Chris, Steve B
Team 2 – Stan, John, Ron
Team 3 – Tim, Paul and Fordy

Team 1 had a very uneventful first few holes, some woeful tee shots on 3 meaning no nearest the pin marker was required, the 4th produced a quality up and down from behind the right greenside bunker by Chris for a 3 pointer. A near lost ball from Mike on the 5th was found just in bounds by the yellow tee markers on the 6th. Chris and Steve flirted with the water on 6 but Chris scraped into the cavernous bunker front right of the green however Steve’s rolled back into some jungle in the hazard from which there was no escape. A few hacks, grass flying everywhere, but the ball refusing to move meant a swift pickup (the beauty of stableford) and instead we watched Chris expertly getting out of the deepest bunker on the course at the first attempt. Well done.

Some delaying tactics by team 1 on the 8th gave team 2 a chance to admire some excellent approaches to the 8th green as they wandered down 7 to play their shots. It was great to see some appreciation of perhaps the only good shots that team 1 had played to that point. Mike then delayed sufficiently to allow Tim to get a good look at team 1’s first birdie of the day. Cries of “great birdie, but don’t go getting any more” were taken in good spirit.

Prior to team 1 putting out on 8 Steve gave a driving masterclass in his buggy. He’d forgotten that he’d not got his usual buggy and was in one of the clubs massive ones, and this combined with the complete oversight that there was no point in parking the buggy by the yellow tees on 9 when the white tee is 50 yards back up the side of Everest, proceeded to produce a display of driving that will long be remembered by those who witnessed it. Making full use of the reversing siren whilst another group were putting on 6, he managed to reverse all the way back to the corner of the path, execute a 25 point turn, then approaching the white tee steps realised he was facing the wrong way, proceeded down the 7th fairway round the back of the 7th green, round the portaloo, back down the 8th and parked up back in front of the 9th tee. And all that only took about 15 minutes.

Despite the delay unusually all 3 tee shots on 9 found the fairway. Mike then tried a shot that he thought was well within his repertoire, but which quite obviously wasn’t. His tee shot was down the right side but not far enough to get a clear shot at the green. For some unknown reason he attempted a 3 hybrid shot from 210 yards out that required a power fade (some may call it a slice) to bend it round a tree onto the green. To be fair it was a great contact but the ball produced no turn whatsoever and ended pin high but about 70 yards to the left of the green on the middle of the 16th fairway. In a rare moment of quality he managed to get it up and down for 3 points.

The group proceeded down 10 with the realisation that 9:30 had passed, the halfway house would be open, and we could all feast on bacon butties and cups of tea. The thought of the upcoming picnic must have played on Chris’s mind as his usual reliable 3 shot approach to playing 10 uncharacteristically failed as a chunked 3rd found the ditch. Steve optimistically asked him if he wanted to play it which bearing in mind the ball was flush against the face of the ditch may have been classed as taking the piss.

Alas the hallway house was locked and shuttered so the bacon butties will have to wait til next week.

Chris atoned for his lapse on 10 by bouncing his tee shot over the bunker on 11, rolling it pin high to about 8 feet, truly a majestic shot to watch. Mike and Steve’s were rubbish by comparison with both finding the sand. Steve got his out first time and then rolled in a monster putt from off the green for a superb par, same couldn’t be said of Mike.

Note to Paul – The cookies were brought on the 13th tee, a very tasty Salted Caramel and Belgian Chocolate number this week. Our pickles were well and truly left in the bag.

Steve managed to conjure up a shot that I’m still unable to explain as it defied the laws of physics. It had the appearance of a shank but this normally go 45 degrees right for right handed players but Steve managed to produce one that went 45 degrees left and straight into stream down the left side of the hole. Mike’s second shot, an 8 iron from 141, started out to the right, drew towards the hole and hit the pin, rolling out to about a foot. On getting to the green there was a big repair job to be done as the ball had actually pitched on the edge of the hole and hit the flag at the same time. Would have been an eagle for 5 points and the only time that a birdie 3 for 2 for 4 seems a bit disappointing.

Steve’s tee shot on 14 pitched in front of the green and somehow managed to roll off the back, still no idea how as that must be 40 yards of roll on a par 3. Chris and Mike hit the green but neither were near enough to have any chance of a nearest the pin win.

Steve managed to embed his tee shot into the far bank of the ditch on 15 which brought the rule book out due to the latest rule change on relief for embedded balls, but alas this doesn’t apply in penalty areas, so a drop had to be taken. Still can’t see the point of dropping from knee height over shoulder height but them’s the rules.

Steve produced the longest drive on 16 but it was definitely there for the taking, which Ron did with ease. Mike did his best to wreck his card on this hole by playing a whole host of garbage golf but almost salvaged a point, which in truth would have been undeserved.

A couple of pars put us in sight of the clubhouse with the final entertainment being a detour from Steve into the wasteland that is the mound short right of 18. A few scything shots released the ball from the rough and that was that.

By the time team 2 got to the 18th green Steve had got the beers in and his sausage butty had arrived, but we awaited group 2’s putting demo with great anticipation. John played an excellent 2nd shot on to the green but then 3 putted (admittedly the first putt hopped about 5 times on the spike marks), but he subsequently proved it was no fluke by missing the same put at least another 10 times, now where can I get one of those spider putters ? Stan was disgusted with himself for 3 putting from 20 feet but Ron showed some true quality golf by getting up and down from just off the green. Great effort.

The totting up of the team scores highlighted some woeful scorecard completion from certain members of the group but eventually the results were :

Team 3 – front 9, back 9 and overall, 2 birdies
Team 2 – 2 nearest the pins, longest drive and 2 birdies
Team 1 – 2 nearest the pins

resulting in team 1 having to shell out £6 each to be shared between teams 2 and 3.

In a final moment of farce Paul obviously wasn’t happy with his 35 points so tried to get himself DQ’d by not signing his card. Mike continued the generosity that Tim had started earlier by pointing out the error of his ways and getting Paul to sign the card.

Totting up the results resulted in Fordy presenting Mike with the bandit trophy for this week, and Mike is not ashamed to say that he is wanting to keep hold of it for next week too.

Great game chaps and look forward to the next one. Results update will follow tomorrow.